The world is not all about me! Learning this truth at a young age is invaluable. Most two year olds are very self-centered. The world literally is all about them. A two-year-old is in the very first stages of developing a sense of personal identity. We have all seen the grocery store temper tantrum that exhibits the essence of a two-year-old’s world. “I want what I want, when I want it and in exactly the way I want it!” No amount of reason or discipline can be introduced to a two year old in the midst of a melt down to make them agree that the world is not all about them.
By three years old most children have adopted a greater sense of who they are and new things (change) can be accepted more easily. Three-year olds may still want to be the boss of what they do, but they are usually on their way to understanding that every day has something new to show them. That change just happens, and they’d better figure out how to adjust. By five that child has come to know, and maybe even appreciate, that life comes with rules and responsibilities. A healthy five-year-old begins to reach out for friends and realizes that having a friend means that sometimes it’s not about you, but about that friend. The concept of serving others sprouts its tiny leaves.
The problem is, when it comes to understanding that the world is not all about them, many adults simply stalled at the two-year-old stage. That stage when the words “I want” rein supreme. If we don’t get what we want, we simply yell louder, or whine until we garner someone’s sympathy. We need that sympathy to fuel our discontent.
So it was with Louise, who for most of her life was stuck in that two-year-old stage. “I lived in Orange County, California, where the average home cost was about $500,000. From the window of my small two-bedroom apartment I would look out to those houses every day and think, “I am barely making ends meet.” Somehow I felt entitled to a better life - one where I had what I wanted and when I wanted it. The problem was, I had created a bubble where only I mattered. So what I didn’t have was always more than what I had.” Louise's story points out that when you live in a world where you are the main character – that’s a problem. In that kind of a bubble world you will always want more, but satisfaction will still remain just around the next corner.
In 2005, Louise signed up to go with ten other people to help the people in Sri Lanka who had been ravaged by the December 26, 2004 tsunami. According to Louise, she’ll never really know what prompted her to do this, but to this day she believes that God was nudging her outside her little sphere of discontent into the real world. This was her first real step outside her bubble world. She was petrified to say the least. “After all,” Louise remembers, “I didn’t actually know where the heck Sri Lanka was when I signed up to go!” But as Louise points out, she had been lonely and stuck inside that bubble world for a long time, and she was beginning to entertain the thought of a bigger life; one where maybe she wasn’t the main character. Louise felt the need to see more to decide if this was just a dumb idea or a real life-changer. She was 51 years old.
What Louise found in Sri Lanka was destruction, death, sadness, poverty, oppression, violence, civil war and one heartbreaking story after the other. It was physically difficult, and emotionally challenging. But amidst that same atmosphere she also saw great beauty, unbelievable emotional strength and fortitude, amazing faith and acts of genuine kindness and unconditional love. “People I didn’t know, whose language I didn’t even speak, reached out to me as if I were the one that came to be helped, not the one who had come to help. The richness of their lives even in the midst of such traumatic loss was a real-life changer for me. “ She was almost instantly “unstuck” from her two-year-old stage and her bubble world had been popped. Serving others became the foundational purpose for her life.
Learning this lesson at fifty-one brought with it the sad reality of how much she had missed for those first 49 years of her life. Louise realized the importance of learning to serve others at a very young age. There is such fulfillment and joy that comes when understanding that the world is not all about us. With that understanding, we can break free from the walls of our bubble world and more fully experience a truly abundant life.
You don’t have to travel to Sri Lanka to introduce the concept of serving others to a young child. Here are a few simple ways to begin planting that valuable lesson in the hearts of your children or grandchildren, aged 5 years & up.
· Birthday Buddies - For each gift a child receives for his/her birthday, purchase a small gift at the dollar store. Call a local children’s hospital and visit with your child to deliver a small gift and some encouragement to some sick children.
· Cozy Coat & Cover-up – This is particularly good to do in the late summer or early fall. Walk around the neighborhood with your child and handout flyers asking for gently used coats, sweaters or blankets. Those that children or adults have outgrown are prime candidates. Come back a week later to gather the cover-ups. Contact a local church, temple, ward or social service organization to make a contribution.
· Yarns by Youths - Young children who love to read and enjoy a good story can share their passion for storytelling by volunteering at their local library to sit and read to toddlers.
· Helping the Hungry – Not only will this help provide a nutritious meal for a hungry child, it will also show your child how those counting and sorting skills they are learning actually apply to real life! Go to a local food pantry or Kids Against Hunger event where you and your child can work together to pack bags of rice, cans of food or other necessities into care packaged for the needy.
· Grins for Granny - Many senior facilities are delighted to have young people grace their hallways. If your pre-teen or teen has good handwriting or reading skills, volunteering to read or write letters for the elderly is a welcome gift. Often times just the presence of a youngster brings smiles and some respite from their circumstances.
· From Old to New – This is one of the most natural ways to teach youngsters about the joys of giving. Encourage your child to go through their toys and choose some they want to donate to children that may have no toys at all. Be sure to wash the toys well and only choose toys that are complete and in safe condition. Contact a local family shelter for donation.
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